It’s landing page review time, and today I’ll be taking a look at landing pages dedicated to Valentine’s Day Promotions – Valentine’s related products/services being one of the most popular search queries at this time of year.
Each landing page was received following last week’s appeal, and will be looked at from the point of view of the user in order to determine whether the page delivers a clean, successful landing, or a bad one. Areas that require attention will be highlighted and suggestions for improvements will be made along the way.
Holiday Inn Express
1. What kind of headline is this?
This is boring. There’s absolutely no sense of urgency or excitement to grab my attention, and no benefit statement to keep me hooked. In fact the entire headline reads like an afterthought, as though this trip was meant to be written off as a business expense, rather than an enjoyable romantic getaway.
How about something like this: “Escape to a Beachfront Paradise this Valentine’s for a Romantic Weekend”.
This headline is far more emotive. And when immediately followed up with a couple of key value points, such as the ‘free breakfast in bed’ or ‘late checkout’, then the product/offer being promoted becomes much clearer also.
2. Show me something, anything
This image is totally uninspired. It’s also very vague, I have no idea what’s being promoted here. An image that puts the offer into clearer context would have served much better.
Perhaps a shot of a couple walking hand-in-hand along a beach at sunset. Or maybe a shot of a hotel room overlooking the ocean, rose petals strewn across the bed – anything that correlates with the promotion and the main headline.
3. Needs a better Button that stands out
The CTA Button is pretty much indistinguishable from the surrounding CTA Box. It needs to be a completely different color, so that it stands out more.
4. Waste of space
This would have been an excellent spot for some social proof, perhaps a couple of trust symbols, or maybe some positive customer feedback – anything that would validate my decision to click that button.
This is one of the poorest examples of a landing page I’ve ever seen. Granted, it’s only function is to get the user to click through to the primary website, but it still leaves a great deal to be desired in terms of design and relevant information. This was an immediate Crash Landing.
Bloom & Wild
1. Not urgent enough
The time limit on your offer is an important element to include, but nobody’s going to spot it soon enough hidden away up there. It needs to be bigger, so that the user takes notice, and placed nearer the CTA Button, so as to prompt the user into acting quickly.
2. These links are a conversion killer
Are all these links really necessary on a landing page? The answer is an resounding No. Get rid of them now and make better use of this space.
3. Incomplete headline
This headline mentions nothing about the offer being promoted, which means I have to hunt down the information for myself before I know whether or not the page is relevant to me. ‘Be Her Hero’ is the motivation, but they forgot to include any explanation as to what it is I’m supposed to be ordering. Let’s finish it off with something like: “Be a Hero and Treat Her to a Valentine’s Bouquet Every Month”.
4. More conversion killers
How many times do I have to say it: If the user wants to find out more about your company/services, then they will go and take a look in their own time, not in the middle of a transaction. Otherwise you really ought to be providing the user with any additional information you think might be useful on the page itself.
This is definitely my favorite of the three. The image is clear and relevant, and the CTA Button is really nice also. But to not include any explanation of the offer being promoted in the main headline is an unforgivable mistake. Crash Landing.
1. Straight to the point
I like this headline, it’s straight to the point and tells me what the page is all about as soon as I’ve landed. My only criticism is that they could have played around with text color/font and maybe used a combination more synonymous with Valentine’s Day.
2. Image is uneven
The main image is not aligned with the adjacent headline, and as a result the entire page looks uneven. What’s more, it draws the eye upward, towards the upper half of the page, when instead it should be leading the eye in the direction of the call-to-action.
I would suggest a complete re-configuration of the elements on this landing page.
3. Opportunity for a better Button
On a positive note, the CTA Button certainly stands out against the background, and the copy includes value and motivation. But I can’t help but think they could have taken this opportunity to make it a little less ‘generic’, and a bit more playful – something akin to the Valentine’s theme.
4. So many distractions
Are all these images entirely necessary? Not only do they look a bit of mess, but they also draw the eye away from the CTA Button.
It’s always a good idea to have a visual representation of the product being offered, but not at the expense of the most important element on the page. I would suggest removing and incorporating them into the main image, perhaps accompanied with a bullet-point list of all the different formats available.
When I first arrived at the relevant, coherent headline, I though this would be the better of the bunch. But the configuration is one great big Valentine’s Day massacre; ugly, uncoordinated and lacking any real structure. Crash Landing.
Next Week’s Clean Landing or Crash Landing
Next week we will be critiquing landing pages in the ‘Credit Report‘ sector so we welcome any example landing page examples for review. Please send the URL of your landing page examples to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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