It’s landing page review time, and today I’ll be taking a look at landing pages from the Personal Loan sector, following last week’s appeal for landing page examples to be reviewed.
Each landing page will be looked at from the point of view of the user in order to determine whether the page delivers a clean, successful landing, or a bad one. Areas that require attention will be highlighted and suggestions for improvements will be made along the way.
1. Headline needs more personality
Straight off the bat this is a really good headline. It’s clear and concise, and lets me know immediately that this page is relevant to my needs, but it’s short on personality. When I arrive at a landing page, I like to see a headline that speaks directly to ME. That’s what distinguishes the values of a product or service in a way that I can relate to.
How about: “Your Unsecured Loan is Waiting. From £1,000 to £15,000”.
It’s only a minor alteration, but it’s one I think deserves testing. Remember that there’s no room for complacency in this game. Even when you think an element on you page can’t be improved upon, there’s always some way to at least make it different enough that’s worth testing to find out.
2. This area needs some social proof
There’s quite a generous portion of white space here – or as I like to call it, ‘marketing space’. Why not include some social proof to help strengthen your sales pitch.
Some positive feedback from a satisfied customer would help users relate more with the value of the service, having seen first-hand how it has been of value to others.
3. This form needs testing
At a glance, this form looks too long. Users arriving at this page for the first time might find it overwhelming and leave before they’ve even had a chance to read through your copy.
I’d suggesting running an alternative page with a much shorter form, reducing the number of form fields down to the bare essentials, in order to see which performs best. All you really need at this point is the customer’s contact details (Name, Email, Telephone Number, etc). You can always get down to the nitty gritty later on.
Better yet, why not utilize Call Tracking and have potential customers telephone you while their interest is peaked – this won’t just lead to better conversion rates, but it will also help improve the ‘reliability’ of your performance reporting.
4. Button needs better copy
I hate being asked to ‘Continue’. I have no idea where I’m clicking to, or how much longer you’re going to keep me here.
Instead, say something more affirmative that conveys the benefits of clicking that button and gives me good reason to do so. How about: “Get Your Quote” or “Click To Apply”.
This is a nice, simple landing page that conveys meaning instantly. It also has a strong sense of structure that’s easy to navigate (largely thanks to the clever use of the directional cue at the top). Despite my gripes with the form length and the headline, which were partially subjective, and going to say this is a Clean Landing.
Priority Money Club
1. This headline needs changing
There’s so much wrong with this headline that I don’t know where to begin, but here goes:
First of all, there’s no sense of context. ‘Guarantor Loan Application’ means nothing to me – not without having to scan through the rest of the copy text to find out for myself.
How about changing it to something that makes it more clear: “Apply For A Personal Loan”.
Then I’d follow-up with a subheader that expands on the initial value-point: “Even If You Have No Guarantor, You Are Still Eligible”.
Secondly, this headline needs to be more prominent – preferably repositioned out from the corner of the page – so that people can see it and understand your memorandum as soon as they arrive.
2. Why is this all the way over here?
Kudos for condensing the values of your service into easy-to-read bullet-points, but what are they doing all the way over here? The should follow your leading headline and subheader seamlessly so that your message remains constant. Instead, everything is scattered around your page without any clear structure. This is confusing for the user to follow.
3. Lazy Design
This element looks as though it was thrown in at the last second – maybe because the designers had forgotten it was a key value-point and didn’t know where else to put it. Not only does it look hideous, but it only adds to the overall ‘disfunction’ of the page’s non-apparent structure.
Everything about the page’s header to subheader, to value-point structure needs a complete re-write. There’s not easy way to navigate my way through this page, and as a result I’m unlikely to want to stick with it long enough to hand my details over.
4. This form just too much
That’s a lot of information you’re asking me to submit, are you sure it’s all relevant? Lengthy data forms look overwhelming – and quite frankly intimidating – which is likely to increase your bounce-rate.
If so, I hope you’re running an alternative landing page with a much shorter form to test. And while you’re at it, why not put out a Call Tracking enabled landing page and talk to your potential customers directly.
The emphasis of this landing is squarely on the main form, and this comes at the cost of supportive information and structure. This isn’t an easy landing page to navigate and the end result is messy, both figuratively and literally. Crash Landing.
Best 4 Loans
1. This form needs testing
Out of the three landing page examples, this is definitely has the best-looking form, but I still think it needs testing to see if it could be made even shorter. Unless you’re mailing something out to me – which at this stage, I seriously doubt that would be the case – then Post Code isn’t really necessary.
2. Change this directional cue
I think this directional cue retains more attention than it shifts to the Call-to-action area. It’s far too big and blocky, and at first glance it looks as thought it might be a clickable item itself. On top of that, it’s too similar in color to the CTA Button, which means the Button (the most important element on the page) doesn’t stand out enough.
I’d suggest a complete re-design of this directional cue. Sure, it needs to be noticeable, but it shouldn’t look more important, or equally important as, your CTA Button.
3. Let’s get some customer feed back over here
You’ve included some trust-icons as part of your social proof, which is good, but some positive feedback from your existing customers would be much more effective.
A simple testimonial would help users to better recognize the value of your service in a context applicable to them. After all, people want to hear other people’s opinions before they trust you with their personal details.
This landing page gets a lot of things right, notably the opening headline which immediately conveys meaning and value. Some of the other elements require some tweaks here and there, but at least there’s a clear structure to the overall page that is easy the follow. I’m going to award this a Clean Landing.
Next week’s Clean Landing or Crash Landing
Next week we will be critiquing landing pages dedicated to ‘Legal Advice‘ so we welcome any landing page examples for review. Please send the URL of your landing page examples to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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