Another week, another chance to take a look at your landing pages and see what you did right and where you went wrong. Today, I’m going to be looking at landing pages dedicated to Secret Sales – a lucrative department of the e-commerce sector – following last week’s appeal for examples to be critiqued.
Each landing page – which was received following last week’s request – will be looked at from the point of view of the user in order to determine whether the page delivers a clean, successful landing, or a bad one. Areas that require attention will be highlighted and suggestions for improvements will be made along the way.
This isn’t really a headline. It’s a part of the call-to-action copy more than anything, jumping right in with a prompt instead of an initial greeting explaining what this page is all about.
I don’t have too much of a problem with this – it’s an efficient way getting visitors to sign up straight as soon as they arrive on the page. But it would have been nice to see a little more context at this stage – what exactly are these brands, what products are they? A little explanation straight off the bat can go a long way to keeping visitors invested in your landing page.
Leading with: ‘Up to 70% off leading brands for your home’ would quickly remedy this problem.
2. Not enough description
I’m practically halfway down your page and I’m still not entirely sure what these ‘luxury brands’ are in relation to. Too much emphasis in this portion of copy is placed on value – ‘leadingbrands and themed sales curated to your individual taste’.
3. CTA Button
The CTA Button includes some nice motivational copy – ‘Join for free’ is a great way of reassuring your visitors that there is no charge at this point. (Confusion over this matter can often lead to people backing out at the last second).
However, your Button color is exactly the same as a number of other elements on the page, even though it does stand out effectively against the black background of this form box. I get that you’re trying to keep a consistent ‘style’ throughout your page (which is very logical considering the nature of your offer) but I’d suggest changing your button color to something different that hasn’t already been used.
This is a really nice-looking landing page, perfect for a luxury shopping service. So I’d say say they got the tone/feel just right for the brand. The only downside is on communication – or the lack thereof – which needs to be slightly more focused on the actual offer. This is a really tough one for me to crticise because I absolutely love the way this landing page looks, but until these minor errors are fixed, I’m going to have to call this a Crash Landing!
I think ‘Be part of the Zulily community’ is slightly misleading for an opening headline – it doesn’t immediately suggest that this a shopping service. It sounds more like something else, maybe social or forum orientated. Either way, I’d lead with a definitive explanation of what this landing page is about.
How about something along the lines of: ‘Save up to 70% on deals for babies and kids everyday’.
2. Potential leakage
Why on earth are you including external links on your landing page? If you want visitors to find out more about your business, then by all means include some information as an addendum at the bottom your page. Don’t send them elsewhere – they might never come back.
Another great-looking landing page, this time let down by a few minor issues involving external links. I’m also not overly wild about the choice of headline. I believe it to be a legitimate issue, but some people might say it’s merely subjective. In which case, I’m going to award this a Clean Landing!
This headline has a much more reserved approach to addressing visitors and telling them what the landing page is all about – and frankly, I hate it.
If I were writing the copy of this landing page, I’d dive right in with the key value-point whilst explaining what the page is all about: ‘Save up to 70% on luxury brands for your home’.
It’s simple and straight to the point. Then I’d expand on it slightly, by talking about ‘exclusivity’ and ‘members only’… which is clearly a strong USP for this brand. It’s just not the USP they should be leading with.
2 &3. Let’s cut to the chase
This is a gorgeous CTA Button. Gold on black really exudes luxury and sophistication, but why not just include a form like the other landing page examples above?
Instead of catering to existing members (taking up a portionable chunk of your landing page) cut to the chase and include a short form with all the necessary fields needed for new members to sign up. This would be a much better use of landing page space.
4. Potential leakage
Just like the landing page example before, you could have better utilized the space on your landing page to include any additional information instead of asking visitors to go elsewhere for it.
Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and say everything that needs to be said on a single landing page – if that’s the best way for you to secure conversions. Just make sure to keep it concise and below the fold of the page.
Being a ‘secret sales’ landing page, there’s expected to be alot of talk about exclusivity and members only. Unfortunately this landing page gets so carried away with those value-points that it neglects to talk about the actual products themselves. Crash Landing!
Next Week’s Clean Landing or Crash Landing
Next week we will be critiquing landing pages dedicated to ‘Paid Surveys‘ so we welcome any example landing page examples for review. Please send the URL of your landing page examples to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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