Today I’m taking a look at landing pages from the Personal Trainer sector, following last week’s appeal for landing page examples to be critiqued. That means I will be looking at landing pages dedicated to offering personal trainer services, as well as landing pages promoting courses to become a personal trainer.
Each landing page will be looked at from the point of view of the user in order to determine whether the page delivers a clean, successful landing, or a bad one. Areas that require attention will be highlighted and suggestions for improvements will be made along the way.
1. Is this immediate enough?
This is clearly a ‘location specific’ landing page – directing traffic from Newton, Newtonville, Watertown and Brighton to this version of the page – which is always a nice touch. But I can’t help but think this element would have been better incorporated into the main headline, where it would have been noticed straight away. The user needs to recognize the relevance of the page as soon as they arrive.
2. Where’s my personal trainer?
‘Get fit together’ is a nice way of selling the service, but for users searching for a personal trainer, it doesn’t deliver specifically what they’re looking for. Message match needs to be strong and precise. The words ‘personal trainer’ should appear somewhere in the main headline.
3. Too many form fields
This form is going to require some serious testing to make sure they’re not losing any business. Are ‘fitness goals’ and ‘current fitness routine’ really necessary? And what about the comments box? I don’t just think they’re a waste of space, they’re also a headache which often dissuades the user altogether.
4. Risk of leakage
Asking the user to check out your main website is like asking a customer to go away and think about whether or not they want to purchase. They might never come back. Remove the link and replace it with any additional information about the service that you think might help sell your offer. If the user wants to take a look at your primary website, then they can take a look in their own time, not yours.
5. Submit is for weaklings
‘Submit’ is never a good call-to-action to use at the best of times. But when you’re selling a service that promotes strength and fitness it completely undermines the message you’re trying to get across. Only weak people submit. Something more motivational like “Start your trial now” would definitely sort this problem.
Without having to source the information out for myself, the purpose of this landing page wasn’t immediately clear. On top of that, there are too many missing elements; no testimonial, no customer feedback, and no trust icons. Crash Landing.
Fitness Together, Denver
1. Where is the headline explaining why I’m here?
There’s no mention of a personal trainer, and where’s the offer being promoted? It looks like this is another case of a location-specific landing page without a relevant headline.
2. Risk of leakage x 3
Why are you so hell-bent on sending the user to your website? It’s bad enough to do it once, let alone several times. And providing users with three external links before they’ve even reached your CTA button is a cardinal sin. Remove them now.
3. This is the CTA Button, right?
This is a beautiful CTA Button. It’s big, it’s flat, and the color stands out against the background. But it needs to be bigger than the other elements along the same row. After all, this is the most important element on the page.
I would also think about adding some directional cues (arrows, etc to draw the eye) just to make sure. And including something as simple as “click here…” within the button text would certainly help clear things up.
4. Don’t temp me…
Sometimes social media can be a hinderance to landing page success. Including social media icons on the page can be a good way of establishing trust, but it can also serve as a reminder of what the user could be doing instead of sticking around on your page, such as checking out more interesting content on the likes of Facebook and Twitter. By providing the user with links, you’re not only tempting them out of the door, you’re practically holding it open for them to leave.
5. Value points underused
These are all really good selling points, so why are they being introduced so late on? I would move these to the top of the page, after the initial headline, so as to reinforce the value of the offer before the user arrives at the CTA.
6. Why would I need to know this?
A landing page should have one dedicated purpose only, otherwise it waters down the consistency of your message. If you want to advertise job vacancies, create a dedicated landing page for that particular purpose. Don’t commandeer this one.
The ambiguities throughout this landing page start with a non-existent headline, a CTA Button that may or may not be a CTA Button, and then ends with a link that suggests the page is altogether dubious about what it’s supposed to be. For that reason alone, I have to declare this a Crash Landing.
1. Strong headline
This is a great example of a strong headline. It immediately answers the question as to what this landing page is all about (‘become a personal trainer’) and follows it up with a value point (‘with on-going expert support’). That’s what I like to see.
2. I want an image that’s relevant to ME
Because the offer being promoted is so intangible, it would be nice to include some images that represent the product in a way that is relevant to me. I want to see people undergoing a transition of becoming a personal trainer. Maybe a guy in his t-shirt and shorts, wearing a mortar board and holding his degree. Anything that signifies he has undergone a personal trainer course.
3. It’s good to stay in touch
Straight away, the user is told what to expect after filling out the form and submitting their details. This is something that is often overlooked but should always be considered, as it reassures the user that their action on the page will be promptly taken care of. My only critique would be, if you’re not going to use an image of a person in the main picture, then it would be nice to see a representative of the team.
4. Space needs to be filled with something useful
Negative space can be quite useful, but when it’s jarringly apparent it suggests that something vital might be missing from the page. Where is my testimonial? It would be nice to hear from somebody who has taken the course and gone on to make a career for themselves. I don’t want my future as a personal trainer to be as empty as this landing page.
5. Too much text
Are terms and conditions really necessary at this stage of the process? All the user is doing is requesting more information, surely it can wait until later on. Not only does this text take up space that could be used for something more effective (testimonials), but it also looks clunky and difficult to digest.
This is certainly the better of the three. But I couldn’t help but think all that empty space could be better utilized. Crash Landing.
Next week’s Clean Landing or Crash Landing
Next week we will be critiquing landing pages dedicated to ‘Valentine’s Day Promotions‘ so we welcome any landing page examples for review. Please send the URL of your landing page examples to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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